REVOLUTION ON THE WRONG SIDE OF NILE

Revolution – process of curing the cancer of the society only to inflict AIDS on it . Now don’t get me wrong , I have had my fair share of marijuana infested John Lennon audio lessons to scream out ‘Power to the People’ every time any political party blocks my urban space to scream out the same . But the idea of revolution and democracy in a Muslim majority state does scare me only because of one single word : Pakistan . You look at Pakistan .. that country is in more need of a revolution than Mamata Bannerjee is in need of a husband . But in all probability the Pakistanis are never going to get out on the streets and start demanding for a better economy or more Indian satellite channels on their TV . Here is the reason why : Religion .

Before you start judging me as the type of Muslim liberal junkie who proclaims his secularism by denigrating Islam and down the years is dreaming of becoming the first Muslim President of the Sangh Parivar or the Shiv Sena ..well atleast you got the first part wrong . What starts out as a democratic set up in a Muslim majority country ultimately ends up being an Islamic revolution ultimately plunging it to the Talibanisation of the state of affairs . Again before you start judging me as the kind of guy who is on the payroll of  Narendra Modi I’ll give you examples .

Exhibit A : IRAN –starting as an Islamic revolution in 1978 to liberate the people from the tyrannical rule of the then despot , has now boiled down to one of the most gross violation of  cultural rights of its artists and also the basic rights of its women . Call me parochial but a country which imprisons a great film maker like Jafar Panahi in the name of non-conformity to the Islamic school of thoughts needs to be bombed out (now I am so getting my US visa)

Exhibit B : AFGHANISTAN – for all aspiring Jihadis “THE AFGHAN SCHOOL OF RECONSTRUCTING A VIOLENT ISLAM THROUGH A NEW QURAN” has been what IIT’s are to any pimple faced teenager or what Baywatch was to thousands of  adolescent Indian guys in the 90’s  .Well alright the US might have had sexual intercourse with that country a bit (this is the most decent way of saying the F word) ..big deal .. now you start blaming the country which has given us the greatest invention known to mankind – PORN.

In semblance these countries have a long list of adjectives like "Democratic”, “Republic” “Sovereign” even “Secular” present in their constitution but what they interpret of these words would make Voltaire and Rousseau dance up from their graves “Thriller” style . So yes , I did support the Egyptian Revolution in the beginning but after a few days when the name “The Muslim Brotherhood” cropped up in the newspaper atleast I knew that the revolution was sexually intercoursed (F-‘ed’ word). In their defence the Muslim Brotherhood might have been doing some notable humanitarian work all throughout Egypt for the past many years ( but so did Khomeini  who sounded like Susan B. Anthony before the revolution and drunk Anthony Gonzalves after it ) . And lets not get into Pakistan , that country is virtually a black hole collapsing on itself in a whirlwind of religious extremism powered by US napalm .

So heres the remedy : status quo . I am a muslim but I am a resident of West Bengal too and take it from me it is not that difficult to tolerate a power that have been sexually intercoursing (F-‘ing’ word)  us for the last 34 years and after that still bring a new party who is gonna do that much harder . We will never go out on the streets and I advise you Egyptians also not to . Its very difficult to accept the fact that either ways you are going to end up in a regime either under Mubarak or some Mullah or some Mamata or some CPM where your right to a better life goes out the window before the voter ink dries up on your fingers ; but once you accept that fact then you will realize that the magnificient pyramids were built by slaves under despotic rulers not by free spirited individuals .