Dr.Shaggy : How I loved the beard and stopped worrying about hell.

I always loved my moral science(Bible) class in school . So right in the middle of evolution and quantum mechanics I trudged through the mystical fantasies of the Old Testament . So while my dad panicked that I was going to transform myself to a Cross loving Kafer , he bought me a copy of the more Arabic version of the mythical fantasy stories . And to add to that we had Mahabharatha(the big daddy of all adventure series) for our hindi classes . So in a sense I’more qualified to comment on religion than any baba or osaMA . So here is my take on how you can be a good GOD fearing secular boy who would be a welcome addition to the slum cake of the super secular Akhtars & Azmis.

So what is the way to a life err..aferlife of bliss : GROW A BEARD. Before you give that pseudo fundamentalist pseudo secularist look,Im gonna give you my reasons . For a start His son sported a great brown one .. and so did the guy whose cartoon you can't draw or whose name you cannot utter unless you want your hand chopped off or want a fatwa dangling from your derriere. If you still want further proof look at Balasaheb Thakeray, he started sporting one a few years back(another reason he could not get along with Raj, his clean shaven nephew).Or look at Baba Ramdev , the new rockstar acrobat from India who can huff and puff under his beard to heaven. Did you ever wonder why no one nowadays listens to the pope .. well get him a beard and he would become Pope John –Paul – George –Ringo all rolled into one (an Eddie Izzard joke).

I have always been a god fearing guy .. common you got to love the guy who created the universe in seven days ( Charles Darwin be damned.. common who listens to monkey loving guys ) , put the earth smack in the centre of the universe (Galileo be damned.. remember the church said he was a lunatic) , dropped food from the sky ( he has stopped providing the services now & outsourced it to Mac D which many godless starved famined satan loving infants of the third world can’t afford) .

So rev up people .. God has stopped being a GOD OF SMALL THINGS .Now his business card reads GOD OF BEARDED BEINGS : Godfather of all people who kills innocent men , decapitates women and starves infants .