WHITEWASHING A BROWN FENCE

THE BEST AD ON TV THESE DAYS

White boss : why will I give u this job

White candidate : because im fair .

White candidate(talking to other white people) : I think he is perfect.

White Boss :  From when can I join Boss.

Before you try to make sense of the above : if you are a single lonely girl or boy living in a dark damp place feeling like a burden on the world … YOUUUUU!!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE … Im fair and you are not...

Who said the world is fair, it’s not , it’s fair and lovely … I am a racist and I hate to admit it (and that makes me a true Indian).Every time I see a Firang .. there’s a initial pang of envy which eventually gets beleagured by the primal impulse of calling out GORAAA/GORIII aloud. Now I’m just gonna deal with the “envy” part .. call it the colonial hangover but we are a sucker for whiteness. A recent market survey (which I might have made up with a few shots of vodka/ I might have read it in The Economist..whats the difference) states that Asians specially Indians spend major part of their income on beauty products specially those involved in lightening your skin pigmentation. Now assumig that the market survey did occur and I was not drunk while reading it , it only validates the fact that has been circulating since Nehru met Edwina : Our ass is black but we want a fair face .

Blame it on the white porn that we grow up watching or the white Sonia Gandhi we blindly obey, we have come to tag anything white as beautiful, clean and successful (think of Rahul Gandhi) while black is something ugly, poor and deprived (think of the Dalit families Rahul visited for Moral Science project in school). We wont easily fantasize about Padma “Brown Sugar” Lakshmi when all our adolescent nights were wasted on watching Pamela “White Heroin” Anderson . And when you have a weakness for something be sure there are hundreds ad guys waiting to pounce on your fantasies . So before you can say Bipasha you are being emasculated by hundreds of ads showing tanned people kissing white angelic bums in servility… again before you can say Michael Jackson you are smack infront of your grocery store buying a tube of fairness cream with as much guilt as if you are buying a pack of condoms . Add to that the Gods of the modern world like Mr. Gobbledygook Khan telling you to get your own gender specific fairness cream so that you don’t have to venture out late in the night to the ladies hostel to get a pack ..(nice proposition by the way) . Well Mr.Khan if only you had applied more of the fair and handsome cream on your pseudo photoshopped white skin then you would not have been mistaken for a brown terrorist in a Gora airport.

So all you girls and boys who are unfortunate enough to have been born with a not so white complexion…. It’s not long before you will hear these public messages on TV:

Message 1 : AMITABH RAI BACCHAN : “DO BOOND ZINDAGI KE” (followed by an approving nod by AISHWARYA RAI BACCHAN)

Message 2 : GOBBLEDYGOOK KHAN : “EK TUBE KAMYAB ZINDAGI KI”………